“Why else would millions of people think it acceptable to spend more than £400 for a secondary computer, and then to deck it out in ridiculous accessories?”.
Maybe, possibly, it’s you that is missing the point of a tablet, and the “millions of people” who buy tablets actually use them? Seems to be it’s either the height of madness or arrogance to think that you are right and the millions are fools. My wife tried using an iPad and didn’t see the benefit. Fine. But don’t suggest those that do are somehow deluded, foolish or wrong.